and Barbara: Frequently Asked Questions
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do you perform weddings?
We started by marrying a few friends and members of the
family. We loved doing it, and decided to do more!
It gives us great joy!
you qualified to perform weddings in Connecticut?
We are both ordained ministers, and meet State of
Connecticut requirements as wedding officiates.
Which one of you performs the ceremony?
We work together as a team. Usually Pastor Bob
officiates. Currently Pastor Barbara plans
personalized creative ceremonies, and assists or fills
in at ceremonies and rehearsals when needed.
Will you be performing our ceremony?
Yes! Some wedding officiants online are really
referral companies. They advertise and interview you,
but someone else actually performs your wedding
ceremony. We will be with you, giving you
personalized service, from your initial phone call to
the day of your wedding.
of ceremonies do you do?
We perform the ceremony you want...in length, style, &
Christian or inter-faith
(Judeo-Christian) ceremonies, large or small, formal or casual. We
also perform vow renewals.
want a religious wedding? A romantic wedding? A mixture of both? Do you want traditional vows or contemporary
vows? How long do you want your ceremony to last? Are
you of different ethnic backgrounds and want to combine
traditions of each? These
are some of the questions we will talk over to make your
ceremony exactly the way you want it. We
can plan your ceremony in person or by
phone or email. We do NOT do cookie cutter weddings!!
We often incorporate elements from ethnic backgrounds of
the bride and groom. However, we will not speak anything
that invokes any god other than the Judeo-Christian God.
We do not do pagan ceremonies, gay weddings, or anything
else that conflicts with our personal religious beliefs.
So many of our couples have said to us "Thank you so
much for giving us the ceremony we wanted!"
Do you have ceremony
Yes, we offer a
Ceremony Kit, with several samples, plus many
options. You can mix and match and choose what you
like. And once you book with us, we can give you
many more options to choose from.
Will we get a chance to read our wedding ceremony
before our wedding day?
Certainly. After we've written your personalized
ceremony, we will go over it with you. You may
add, delete or change any part and we will fine-tune it
until you love it. You have final approval. There will be no surprises!
we write our own wedding vows?
Yes, we will work with you to craft your own vows if you
like. Most couples choose from our many samples. You can choose
one, or "tweak" it to make it your own.
Your vows are the words and promises of your hearts.
we specify ceremony details such as music, readings, and
Absolutely! Our goal is a wedding ceremony that is
a reflection of the two of you. We have lots of
options to choose from, and would love to hear your own
can read anything you like, you could read something to
each other, or have a friend or family member read
something - that's fine
with us. We like to personalize your ceremony in
any way you like.
am divorced, and my
and I have been living together. Do you perform
Yes, of course!
am pregnant. Is this a problem?
Not a problem at all- we would be very happy to marry
to include our children in our wedding ceremony.
Is that okay?
Yes, we love family weddings, and are happy to find ways to include children, whatever
is part of the family. Do you include pets?
Yes, we welcome well-behaved
long are your ceremonies?
That's up to you!
It depends on what options you choose to add, whether or
not you have a procession and recessional, readings, or
a vocalist, but most
ceremonies range from 15 to 25 minutes. That seems to
work best- not too short, not too long. Once we write
your ceremony, we can give you a better estimate of time.
shy- do I have to talk?
If you prefer, you can just say "I do." Or even
just nod your head! We want you to be very happy
and comfortable. Even those who aren't shy
usually prefer to read their vows or to repeat them
after the minister.
Do you perform weddings outdoors
or in unusual locations?
Sure do! We will work
with you to create a "uniquely you" wedding ceremony-
and that includes location. We will do weddings at the
beach, or in back yards, in a park or by a pool, in your
home or on a houseboat, in barns and on bridges, in churches and chapels,
mansions and museums, hotels and halls, coffee shops and castles, at a B&B
or a baseball field, in a tent or in a tree house!
Any place that has special meaning for you.
don't have a ceremony site. Can you provide one?
We can help you with ideas. We also perform
ceremonies in our home for just the two of you or with a
few close friends or relatives. It's a great
alternative to a matter-of-fact courthouse wedding. For more information, see
and Sweet Ceremonies.
What do you wear?
Pastor Bob will wear a dark suit or a ministerial robe- your choice.
Or he can dress more casually or even for a theme wedding if you
like. (He looks great in a cowboy hat!) The color of
his clergy stole or tie can coordinate with your wedding colors.
Do you require pre-marital
No, we do not. However we do encourage it and offer a
Course. Read more about it
What are your fees?
Please see our page Ceremony
Reservations, Services &
Are you available
for a ceremony rehearsal?
Yes, we recommend them
and include them in our
service fee for formal ceremonies with attendants.
Ceremonies without attendants, or just a few, can happen 45
minutes before the wedding, or for simple ceremonies, can be
eliminated altogether. Essentially, rehearsals
are for the
attendants, and for logistics. We will plan together,
ahead of time, so you will know what to expect. And you won't
have to remember anything. It's our job to tell you
exactly what to do and when. Like, turn and join hands,
repeat after me, take the ring, and kiss the bride!
travel? Do you charge for travel?
Travel anywhere in Connecticut is included in our fee. We
will travel outside of Connecticut, with a travel fee.
Are there any "hidden charges?"
No, our fees include everything. (The only additions might
be if you choose for us to provide the set-ups for special
ceremonies such as a unity candle or sand ceremony.)
your rules as to photography and other vendors?
We are very flexible, and cooperate with vendors and wedding
coordinators. Flash photography is fine with us, and if you
wish, we let
photographers position themselves where they can get the best
possible pictures or video. (However,
mind, cameras on the altar area can be a distraction, and will
also wreck the appearance of the wedding pictures for everyone
else, so this is your call.)
When will you arrive?
We will arrive at least 30 minutes before the start of the
Will you attend the reception?
say a blessing or a prayer at the reception?
Please in no way feel obligated to invite us.
However, if our schedules permit, we would be honored come, and
to say a blessing or prayer before the meal, if that is
something you would like.
How do we get a marriage license?
And what do I need to do to legally change my last name after we are
Please see our page
Getting a Connecticut
And be sure to bring your license with you on the day of
Do we need
No, witnesses are not mandatory in the state of Connecticut.
Do we need
No, blood tests are not required in Connecticut.
How soon do we
need to book you?
"Prime time" for Connecticut
weddings is between May and October. Saturdays,
especially, book up quickly. We start booking our weddings
six months to a year or more in advance. Please remember, we can't hold
your date and time until we receive a contract from you!
We're ready to get married! How do we
book our wedding date?
EMAIL or CALL us to see if your date and time is available on
our schedule. We can meet in person or get acquainted by phone
or email. If you decide you would like to have us officiate
your wedding, we will send you a contract, and you simply pay a deposit by check or money order to hold
our services. The balance is due the day of your wedding. See
Reservations, Services &
Fees. As soon as you've reserved the date with
us, we will begin to work with you on your unique and special ceremony.
It's fun and simple! Know that we'll be there for you on
your wedding day and that we will always be available for you by
phone or email.
Have More Questions?
Take a moment to tell us about your wedding
ceremony and how we can help.
Pastors Bob and Barbara, wedding
(203) 503- 4102